10 Ways to Keep it Real This Christmas

By Gianina Knoth

Raise your hand if you've ever seen a toddler have a full blown meltdown in public. Okay, now raise your other hand if you’ve felt like joining them at some point this year. Does everyone have their hands up? If not, please check yourself for a pulse.

I think it’s safe to say we’ve all felt ourselves relating a bit more to Charlie Brown than we’d like like this year. Can I get an amen? A-Types have been twitching for months due to our inability to plan for literally anything. Even extroverts are all Zoomed out. We’ve grown tired of inventing COVID-safe greetings that don’t make us feel like we’re at a Star Trek convention. (No offense intended. I mean, we all want to live long and prosper, right?) Wanderlusts desperate to travel are twitching like they injected a gallon of Cuban coffee. Meanwhile, introverts, initially relieved to stay home and read guilt-free, are starting to feel a little too Tom-Hanks-in-Castaway for comfort. 

Long story short, we are ALL over this. But this hot mess is not yet done with us. Which made me wonder, what if having a Charlie Brown kind of Christmas is exactly what we all need? 

Riddle me this: Have you ever found yourself on your hands and knees at 1am cleaning your kitchen baseboards before holiday visitors come-a-calling? What about giving your husband and children the Cruella DeVil-at-the-end-of-the-movie look right before saying cheese for your perfect holiday card photo? Have you gone to sleep with Amazon daily deals burned on the back of your eyelids from hours of searching for the “perfect” gift? What about swallowing panic and pride as a would-be do-gooder announced they’ve signed you up for a group gift or a Secret Santa, when they have no idea you can’t afford it?

Not only have I rage cleaned my house before welcoming company with a smile, I have also cried after being signed up for multiple “small” chip-in gifts and Secret Santas while struggling to pay the bills. I am sure you have plenty of your own stories of how expectations ruined the holidays. Instead I say we rage against the Christmas machine together. So, in an effort to save our holiday—and hopefully our sanity—I’ve made a list of 10 ways to keep it real this holiday season:

1. HAVE AN UGLY TREE CONTEST.

Everyone has heard of the ugly sweater party. But I say we level up. What if you challenge family and friends to an Ugly Tree Contest? Let your toddler decorate. (Sit on your hands Type A’s). Let the cat climb the tree, knock it over, and leave its poor carcass where it lays. Go to the Dollar Store and find the decorations no one wants and have at it. Use all the decorations that don’t match. Share, share, share. People don’t need perfection, we all need a good laugh.

2. TAKE OLD SCHOOL FAMILY PHOTOS.

Let’s kick it old school. A normal camera roll back in the day would only take about 20ish pictures per roll. Then you had to drive to a store and and—horror of horrors—let someone else see your pics first! Those were dark days, people. No filters or high angles. Tragic bangs, home perms… What if this year you challenge your crew to ditch matching, posing, filtering, cropping, and editing? Just take a few candid shots and let everyone see your messy kitchen, your bottomless toddler, your tween playing Minecraft ignoring Grandma. You know, the real “us” we all hide for some reason?

3. LOWER THE WATTAGE.  

Look, I think we can all agree that Clark Griswold wanted the best for his family. However, maybe this year we can let some of the outdoor Christmas decorations be a bit simpler. Consider making snowflakes from paper to hang from the ceiling, get a red or green light bulb for a lamp in the house. Small touches can go a long way and keep you off the roof. After all no one needs an unnecessary trip to the hospital. Perhaps this year more than ever.

4. THE SECRET ABOUT SECRET SANTA.

OK, I’m gonna let the Santa skeleton out of the closet…not everyone is into it. There’s no convincing people who love Secret Santa this is true. However, there are a lot of people who struggle financially, and this year is no exception. Sometimes even a $5 or $10 gift is a big strain. Stop telling people they need to chip in. You don’t know their situation. Prepare yourself to politely decline, write a kind letter to contribute, or at least say, “I’ll get back to you.” 

5. LET SILENCE BE GOLDEN.

This season means different things to everyone. Instead of telling people what it should mean, I think we should listen to what it does mean to them. For some it’s a great and happy time. For others it’s a reminder of loss or loneliness. Our family has Christian, Jewish, and agnostic members. As a result, we make an effort to make sure everyone feels included. What’s cool about vegetable soup is that you can pretty much throw anything into a pot, let it simmer, and it’s tasty. The same thing can be true of your holiday season. Take the best of all everyone has to offer, make everyone feel included, and then simmer in that love. Mmmmmmmmmm, delicious. Finally I think we’ve talked enough politics for the last four years, don’t you? Let’s give ourselves a gift and leave that out of our holidays.

6. HAVE A “HOT MESS HOLIDAY” SOCIAL MEDIA CHALLENGE.  

I double dog dare you to post real pictures of your holiday season starting right now. Burned the turkey? Love it. Snap that pic and share it. Finished wrapping a present with birthday paper because you ran out at the last minute? Brilliant. Get that online now. Is your hair in a bun for the 10th day in a row? Yes, girl. Lemme see. Mine too. Is your Husband watching Hallmark and pretending not to be interested? Document that. Are your travel arrangements for the holidays rivaling that of Planes, Trains and Automobiles? Share, please. Let’s give the gift that keeps on giving. Laughing with, not at, one another. Game on. (p.s. Check out our Christmas Fail Bingo card and see how many you can mark off!)

7. THIS ISN’T THE YEAR.

Newsflash, this is not the year to try to get people to change. I am not telling you to stop caring, I am asking you to put an extra scoop of grace on the plates of everyone you wish would clean up their act. Grandparents have been away from their grandkids now more than ever, and it seems like they’ve all been boning up on their guilt-ing techniques. Let them. Get on the video call. Mail them pics, try not to take it personally. Lord, give me strength. Let the people who struggle with overindulging have an understanding ear instead of “helpful” advice. 

8. LET SOMEONE ELSE DECORATE.

Some people go all out with the outdoor decor. But if hauling out boxes and testing lights might just be more humbug than holly jolly this year, skip it. Seriously. Many local zoos, farms, botanical gardens and parks have walk-through light displays, some have drive-through ones. If you’re looking for festive, fun, and free—always a winning combo—try making cocoa in to go cups, rock your favorite holiday tunes in the car, and go on a neighborhood drive to see lights. Try your area or venture out. Make a night of it!

9. CUT YOUR HOLIDAY CARD LIST.

If there was ever a year to cut the list of people to whom you feel compelled to send a card, this is the year. Your brother’s best friend from college’s old girlfriend that you still talk to every 5 years doesn't need a card this year. Okay? Make a chart, pick the most crucial, and do that. Or, if you just don’t feel right about that, consider printing one letter you mail or email to everyone. You may not love the idea of doing this, but if your sanity needs the break, do it. Let your heart decide, not guilt.

10. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.  

It is not your responsibility to pull off the Christmas miracle that will make everyone in your world feel like this holiday season isn’t different. It is. Do what you can. Load up on the laughs. Let the reason for the season be what you need it to be, not what anyone selling something tells you it's supposed to be. The best you can muster this year is good enough. Repeat after me...It is enough.


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We’d love for you to join us for Christmas this year at Community of Hope: Indoors, Outdoors, & Online. There is something for everybody and we hope to have you be a part of it. Click below to learn more about our plans for the most wonderful time of the year.

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