Dr. E. Dale Locke and Rev. Trevor Johnston
Sermon Series: Relationslips
Week 2: How to Be Right Twice
PDF file for printing:11-11-17
- Icebreaker: What’s one of the most challenging aspects of relationships?
- Review of week 1: Luke wrote in Luke 2:52 that “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” From this verse, we recognize that as Jesus grew up physically, he matured in every area – including his ability to have good relationships. But not everybody does that. If you’ve ever known someone who hasn’t really “grown up” in terms of how they do relationships, share a bit about that – but don’t name any names!
- In Isaiah 2:4, Isaiah writes that one day people “will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.” The Hebrew word “Shalom” represents this kind of peace and also expands it to include all forms of peace, both internal and external. God’s desire for people is that we might experience peace in every way possible: international peace, interracial peace, interpersonal peace, inner-soul-level peace, peace in our homes. In our relationships, what humans are really longing for is peace.Given these truths, why do you think we have so little peace in our world?
4. Read Matthew 5:9: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
Jesus’ words indicate that he desires his people be agents of peace in our world. He wants us not to just wish for peace, but to be actively involved in bringing it into our relationships. What are some ways that we can actually be involved in fulfilling this desire of Jesus?
- Read Luke 10:38-42:
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.
40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed– or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Martha had a legitimate complaint about Mary, but what was Martha’s “slip” here?
- Like Martha, sometime we may have a valid “point” we want to make, but we make that “point” it in a way that is wrong. Describe that situation.
The book, Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict by the Arbinger Institute give some insights into how to experience more peace in our relationships.
- Read through the 10 Rules for Being Right Twice, and talk about each one:
- Differ from others without demonizing them.
How can we have a different opinion from another person in the right way?
- Have spirited conversations without “drawing blood.”What helps a spirited conversation stay “in the lane” in terms of keeping the relationship healthy?
- Do not interrupt others who are talking and do not dominate the conversation.
In James 1:19, he writes: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Why is this important for healthy relationships?
- Limit volume levels and refuse to use incendiary words that derail a conversation.
- Be courteous.
- Never ever stereotype.
What does it mean to “stereotype” someone? What is the problem with stereotyping?
- Apologize immediately.
Why is it often so difficult to apologize when we’re wrong?
- Form opinions carefully and stay open-minded if better information comes along.How would rate yourself on being humble, open and teachable (H.O.T.)?
- Show up when you say you will show up, and do what you say you will do.
Why is this so important?
- In your sphere of influence, set rules of respect for everyone, and defend them relentlessly!
Describe what “respect” looks like in relationships – especially in a relationship where you have different opinions.
- Which of these 10 rules challenges you the most? How could you grow in that area?